THINGS I WANT TO REMEMBER

When I was five, I lived on 16th avenue. There are bits and pieces in which resonate my mind every so often. I remember marriage. I remember writing on the walls and baby corn and naps on the couch. The first time I got the chicken pox. I remember it all so well and I was so small, not aware of the feelings that consumed me the way they did others. The curls on my head grew, along with my mother and father. There were times when my dad would wake me up a half an hour later than I did for school just to let me sleep in. He would sometimes pick me up in the middle of the day and let me leave. This was the prime of my childhood. It was the constant reassurance that I was loved – and it came unconditional. It did not have any rules. It breathed on its own. It swallowed up every fiber in my body, structuring me, molding me as I am now. I just want to write. I don’t know what about. But it will be pages long, and I’ll continue until I feel like I cannot anymore. These are the things I wish I’d said.

my mind is always everywhere. i live for words. sometimes they aren't my own, and i post them here. sometimes i will post things that are mine. this blog is a collection of photographs i take and the things that i want to remember.

things - my things - personal

~ Sunday, January 8 ~
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Sometimes I imagine the lake at dawn. I’ll still be lying in bed, hidden from my sleep that I want so much, always, all the time. People are dreaming about things I will never be able to see. Or touch. It’s dark and everything is quiet and this is the moment where everything becomes so much more comfortable. The lightness behind the blinds welcomes itself inside, still dark baby blue from the night. God, I hate it so much. This is when the lake is most beautiful. Except for when it’s almost 12 AM and the roads are free and everyone is either drunk or asleep. No passion, no fears. You’re just human. The body of water is your heart. You see it and it soaks up every memory you’ve ever had. It gives you the vulnerability back that you gave up as a child. The body of water is your soul. 

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